There once was a speedy hare who bragged about how fast he could wank. Tired of hearing him boast, Slow and Steady, the tortoise, challenged him to a race. All the animals in the forest gathered to watch.
Hare wanked for a while and then paused to rest. He looked at Slow and Steady and cried out, "How do you expect to win this race when you are wanking at your slow, slow pace?"
Hare stretched himself out and fell asleep, thinking, "There is plenty of time to relax."
Slow and Steady wanked and wanked. He never, ever stopped until he came.
The animals who were watching cheered so loudly for Tortoise, they woke up Hare.
Hare stretched and yawned and began to wank again, but it was too late. Tortoise had finished and was smoking a cigarette.
After that, Hare always reminded himself, "Don't brag about your lightning pace, for Slow and Steady won the race!"
7 comments:
Veddy eanteresting Joshteen
Umm....
I was in a weird mood when I published this post. I wanted to post something lewd and ridiculous, and I had just finished this illustration for an article on delayed ejaculation. I stumbled across the old story of the tortoise and the hare and couldn't resist changing a few words...haha.
No wonder tortoises are endangered -- wanking (in front of an onlooking cheering crowd of woodland creatures, no less!) rather than copulating and propogating the species...and then smoking, too! Thank god Darwin isn't alive to see such de-evolution. Loved the illo, JJ.
Nah, that's cool, Justin. I was kinda wondering because it seemed like it came out of left field. I love the illustration, too, by the way. Great looks on both of the critters.
That is the wittiest illustration of the past 5,000,000,000 years.
Why THANK YOU, Hey Young World!
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